Braudia's First Moment in Sleaze Town

Ladies and Gents, we are embarrassed to admit it, but we have just spent 90 minutes listening to a man tell us about Hyatt time-shares for the sole purpose of collecting 150 dollars worth in key west gift certificates.

It was painful. Totally worth it. But we will never do this again...we think.

If you recall, a few days ago, we were approached by an energetic fellow named "Paul Goodhead." We were afraid that "Paul" was a phony, and had taken 20 bucks from us because we looked happy, careless, and gullible.

However, when we showed up at the Hyatt, we realized that Paul was for real, and so was this time-share talk in exchange for 150 island bucks. We got our 20 bucks back and met another gentleman, who we'll call Frank (since we never paid attention to his real name) who proceeded to show us the Hyatt grounds.

The worst part of this whole thing is that we were the perfect clients for Paul Goodhead (the recruiter) to get commission, given our young-desperate for fun, free stuff to do look, but the absolute worst clients for "Frank" the actual time-share salesman.

And I think Frank knew this the moment he saw us.

Never in my life have I seen such a low-energy salesman. There was not an ounce of hope in his presentation. But he stoicly plowed through it, showing us the time-share spots in other locations around the country, telling us about how much financial sense it makes to have "ownership of your vacation"...

The first question he asked us: so how often do you come to Key West?

Braudia: Umm, well, we're here on our honeymoon

Frank: So you've been living in Coral Gables long? (We've been using my parents address for everything)

Braudia: Umm, well, actually, we don't have a place yet cuz we're moving to England.

Frank: thinks to himself "oh great, another 90 minutes of my life wasted" but says, "so, how often do you think you'll come down to Key West, then?"

Braudia: Ummmmm.....uummmm

yeah, you get the picture, and it only got worse.

Finally, after some silly video, we decided to come clean. Not only were we going to be living in Europe and traveling around there in a spontaneous, stress-free manner, but we didn't even own a house, much less would we care to own a vacation time-share property.

Frank: So what drew you in to this, anyway?

Braudia: the 150 dollars in vouchers.

Frank: well, I have an obligation to finish, so we can just continue then.

and he did. after 20 more minutes, we went downstairs, and the front desk girls gave us the vouchers. And now, we can go to another fancy lobster dinner- for free.

Grunts: It's What's for Dinner

The other day, Bret and I went to a Vegan Health Food Store at Big Pine Key where we played oversized Chinese Checkers while munching on cauliflower, lentils, cabbage, and other "detox" food. At the store, I picked up an "Energy Times" magazine, some hippy-flaxseed recycled paper publication. In it, there was an article about the healing power of swimming with dolphins.

Inspired, I decided to get into this whole spiritual healing thing. Ok, so I don't need much healing, per se, but still, I figured if it's so wonderful for the depressed and autistic, imagine how wonderful it could be for someone who is happy and social? For 200 bucks at the Dolphin Research Center, I could swim with these geniuses of the sea...

When I got there, they threw me in with a group of seven people who were also doing this "dolphin encounter"...Now, considering my interest in achieving some awesome inter-special communication, I was expecting to be diving in and out of the water, playing ball with the dolphin, or if things turned dark, seeing the dolphin circle a part of my body indicating that I had a tumor or something.

I was not expecting to simply take turns giving hand signals to the dolphin so he could dive, "laugh," or splash. Don't get me wrong, it was quite cute and all, but it sure wasn't 200 dollars-healing my soul cute. The whole thing took a grand total of 45 minutes. One woman kept saying, "This is so worth it, this is so worth it"...and she was totally enamoured by the dolphin and kept asking the trainer to ask the dolphin to give her "a kiss on the cheek." Once her request was granted, she followed with "does it have to be on the cheek?" The trainers went silent for a moment before one spoke up, "We like to keep things platonic here." I wonder if she ever realized that the dolphin was not really giving her a kiss on the cheek, but pressing his mossy snout to her cheek in exchange for some sardines from the trainer?

In any case, fascinating, adorable creatures, but by no means a life-changing encounter- at least for me.

Later on that evening, Bret and I went to a party boat for a Night Fishing Trip. We had had such horrible luck a few days ago fishing from the nearby bridge, that we decided to give the whole fishing thing another shot.

The night was gorgeous: calm seas, a hazy, romantic sunset, and later, a tangerine for a moon- its orange glow reflecting off the black ocean.

The fish? Well, that's another story. We left at 6:30 and the boat would move to a new location every 15-25 minutes. Everyone around us was catching fish after fish. Except for Bret and me. Our rods remained sadly unbent.

Suddenly, at around 10:30, I caught my first fish! Shortly after Bret caught one, and we got on a roll! We got back, collected our grunts, had them filleted, and we're gonna make them tonite.

raw oysters, lobster, sunset, and splashing

Hello all. I am currently digesting lobster tail with mango-cognac butter and chocolate fondant souffle + chocolate truffles, all courtesy of "Pisces" restaurant in Key West. Amazing! Well, and pricey. But totally worth it. I have admitted to Bret that I have a weakness for the "finer things in life"...luckily, I do not mind paying for my weakness, and he doesn't mind tagging along. He enjoyed an endive-goat cheese salad and a yellow-tail snapper with shrimp dish, as well as Creme Brulee for dessert. Also very yummy.

After the decadent dinner, we headed down to Malory Square where we got a glimpse of the sunset. For those of you who have never witnessed a Key West sunset, there's a reason why it is so famous. There's nothing like staring at a glowing fireball amidst dramatic clouds sink into the glistening ocean.

Two nights ago we tried to see the sunset, but we got distracted. You see, after a disappointing day of fishing and not catching a damn thing (and Bret burning his back due to poor sunblock application), we wanted a good adventure. We decided: what would be more Keys-appropriate and daring than a batch of raw oysters? I love these little critters, though I know that they can be a bit dangerous re food poisoning. We searched online and found several enticing raw bars in Key West. Raw bars tend to really overdo the whole raw food thing. They give you all these extra sauces to cover up the taste. But take my word for it: a little lime and slurp it down! No extra sauces needed.

After our dinner, we dove into the pool at the restaurant. It was a lovely and festive evening. There was a happening bar scene full of locals, a puppy, and good music. But we were soon told to get out of the pool because it was closed and they were "shocking" it with chemicals. We didn't ask what that meant. For fear of turning radioactive, we rushed over to the showers and left for a walk. If our hair suddenly falls out, we'll sue Dante's Raw Bar.

Walking around Key West at night is one of the most exciting things to do. There are cute shops, colorful people, and lots of outgoing individuals. One of those outgoing individuals is "Paul Goodhead," the man who either (1) scammed us into giving him 20 bucks, or (2) legitimately works for the Hyatt in some odd/ overly generous marketing promotion. As we were strolling about, Paul shouts at us:

Paul: Hey, are you on your honeymoon?
Us: Yeah, how did you know?
Paul: Oh, you just have the look of love in your eyes!
Us: (bashful chuckles)

He then goes on to tell us that the Hyatt has opened up a new location and that after a 90 minute presentation, we would get free wine and three 50 dollar vouchers to spend on the island. While the whole thing sounds incredibly suspicious, we decided that it might be worth it. Our appointment is at 11 am on Friday, and we have already given him the "refundable 20 dollars"...He showed us his I.D. and told some guy on a walkie-talkie (presumably the man is also affiliated with the Hyatt) that we'll be going on Friday. The papers and brochures he gave us look legitimate, but at the same time, I wouldn't be surprised if I just lost 20 dollars to a conartist. We'll keep you posted!!!

We Found the Treasure!!

Good morning friends! I am currently lathered in Calomine lotion because I got bit all over my arms and legs by some creatures (mosquitos? fleas? sea lice?). Unfortunately, the lotion is not working...oh well, it's the downside of being an explorer. Let me tell you what we did yesterday.

We started off the morning by going to our gym in Marathon Key. It is a very complete gym for a semi-decent price, and best of all: we are the only ones in it! Well, yesterday I did see an elderly lady walking on the treadmill, but generally speaking, it's empty. I worry about these types of non-touristy businesses in the keys. There is a health food store in Big Pine, and I've never seen anyone in it. There is also a Yoga studio which I plan on visiting at least once. I have never seen any cars parked in the Yoga studio spots...

After our gym fun, we decided to do a geocache. Now for those of you who don't know what that is, you can check out www.geocaching.com . Basically, it's a treasure hunt in which you use a GPS unit to find the cache. The "treasure" is nothing special: just a box with trinkets and a little notepad for you to write in. The whole point is the journey. There is usually a clue and you must use your sharp senses and wits to figure out where the cache is hidden.

So we looked online (you can do this too; they are all over the world) and found that there are three chaches in No Name Key. We decided to try the hardest one. And on the website they suggested we take a kayak to the coordinates. So we rented a kayak on Big Pine, and started paddling. It was awesome! First of all, Bret did most of the paddling (he likes to lead, and I like to relax, so it works out quite well). Second, the water was gorgeous. We saw fishies and coral, and I could have sworn that I saw a sting rey, but I tend to imagine a bit sometimes, so this is in question.

After half an hour of strenuous paddling on Bret's end, we tied the kayak to an old rickety dock. There were crabs everywhere and it was probably 100 degrees. I was basically drinking my own sweat. We searched the place, the clue being: "Above Ground". But it was tricky, because there wasn't really any ground as we were in a mangrove field. Bret was about to cut through the vicious mangroves to check out an old bucket which looked like a potential cache, when he got a eureka moment to check under the dock itself. Bingo!!! An old thermos was tied to the bottom of the dock. We had found the cache!!!

We kayaked back to Big Pine after signing the cache-log, and walked home.

That evening, we decided to hang around the area and go to Boondocks where we ate Filet Mignon and Lobster tail, a yummy key lime pie, and I had a Pinatini. When we finished, we played some mini golf, and I beat Bret 52 to 55. We would have played again, but it was scorching, and my creature bites were killing me. Instead, we went home and watched The Beach, which has inspired us to investigate traveling to Thailand.

Must go now. We want to find a nearby bar that has a pool, too.

Mopeds and more

Today Bret and I went to Key West and rented mopeds, and let me tell you: I am ready to buy one! Ok, so maybe it would be more economical to get a used Smart Car or something, but still, excellent way to see a new city. You don't get tired as you would on a bike, and it's not as slow as walking, but you are still in the open air, unlike driving around in a car. I can just see us now mopedding across the Italian countryside on our "holidays"...

While on our moped travels, we did lots of exciting things: for lunch, I had a delicious Mahi salad, and Bret had an aioli chicken sandwich. We looked at all the adorable little pastel colored houses, we rode by trendy/wild Duval Street, went swimming at a beach, and best of all, we went to the Key West Winery, where we tried Grapefruit wine, Peach wine, Key Lime wine (our least favority- tasted kind of like Mr. Clean, and looked like it too), and the one we bought, Guava wine. After our moped travels, we went to a bookstore where Bret bought a "Learn to Speak Spanish" CD set and an astronomy book.

I regret to admit, that because of my "I don't burn, I brown, so I don't need sunscreen" attitude, I know look like a raspberry. Even my upper lip got burned, so bad that it looks like I got a bad electrolosis job or something. I now realize that living in PA for two years has changed my tanning abilities. I will load on the Paba tomorrow...

Maybe soon we will go to a fancy restaurant around here. I love cooking, and Bret's food is amazing (tonite's meal: Milanese Pork and Caprese Salad), but I cannot leave the Keys without having a fabulous lobster meal.

Goodbye for now everyone. I need to investigate this summer's Miami Spice restaurants. We hope to go to one before we go off to Europe!

Honeymoon Part 1

Greetings all. We are relaxing here in Big Pine Key right now. Bret has just cooked a fabulous salmon with leeks, and I made baby spinach with lemon and pine nuts. We are also enjoying Helene's wedding present- Mango Wine. Yum.

So married life has been treating us quite well. Our wedding suite at the Mandarin was quite posh- rose petals on the bed and the bathtub and a breath taking view of the Bay. the next day we stayed at Silvia and Enrique's South Beach condo- another super posh experience- with dimmers, orchids, and a Tempur-pedic king size bed...

And for now, we'll be sitting back here in the Keys- my borther in law's place. It's a typical Keys home, very layed back and unpretentious, but comfortable and beachy. While there are homes all around us, nobody seems to be inhabiting them. As far as we can tell, we are the only lights in the neighborhood. Our only neighbors are the Key deer and the nasty iguanas.

We have many plans for the Keys, including nite snorkeling, kayaking, biking, fishing, and waverunning. Today we just went to Key West and explored it. We walked around Duval Street, had tropi-cocktails, jogged in the sauna (South Florida in August), and dipped into Smathers Beach- very slushy and gross, actually. We will be going to Key West often, but we also plan on going to Looe Key and the Tortugas (very piratey).

Well, that's it for now. Pictures are forthcoming...